


A Crack in the Lens

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Background Mystrade, Fluff, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Sherlock is asexual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21757174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: John and Sherlock get together (finally) and John finds out that Sherlock is asexual. John doesn’t understand asexuality and thinks that Sherlock doesn’t really love him.(This is the first fanfic I’ve ever written so be nice!)
Relationships: Johnlock, background Mystrade - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :) I’m still learning how to write fanfic so bear with me, but if you liked it or have any suggestions let me know!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After lots of drama, Sherlock and John become a couple. Sherlock lets John know that he’s asexual and John doesn’t understand. He thinks it means that Sherlock doesn’t love him.

**John’s POV**

It was 4am and John was woken up by pained cries coming from Sherlock’s room. His flat mate must have been having another nightmare. Sherlock had nightmares almost every time he slept, but tonight his cries were much louder than usual. John got out of bed to make sure his friend was alright, he hated it when Sherlock had nightmares.

As he got to Sherlock’s door, he heard Sherlock shout fearfully,

”NO JOHN! COME BACK! JOHN! NO!”

Concerned and puzzled, John quietly entered the dark room and was greeted by Sherlock sobbing and muttering his name while thrashing in his bed. 

Immediately, all John could think of doing was making sure his friend was okay.   
  
He tiptoed over to the side of the bed and sat down gently. He didn’t want to wake Sherlock, because if he did there was no way he would go back to sleep. Instead he spoke softly to the sleeping man.

”I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m still here.” He said quietly.   
  
His words seemed to have a calming effect, because Sherlock stopped moving and the frown melted off his sleeping face. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He continued, admiring his friend as he spoke. Not that he was gay or anything, but his flat mate was definitely very handsome. John contemplated crawling into bed next to him and staying there for the rest of his life, just snuggled up next to Sherlock. His thought was interrupted by a croaky voice.

  
“I heard you the first time.” Sherlock grumbled groggily with a slight note of annoyance in his voice.

“Oh, you’re awake. Are you alright?” John asked, relived at least that Sherlock’s nightmare was over.

”I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be fine? Nothing’s wrong!” Sherlock snapped at John.   
  


“You didn’t seem fine a minute ago when you were sobbing and shouting my name.”

”Well I’m fine now so leave me alone.”

”You might be fine -which you’re not by the way- but my sleep schedule sure as hell isn't, so we’re going to have to come up with some way to stop your nightmares.”

”couldn’t you just use earplugs? If not I’ll just not sleep when you’re around, if that helps.” Sherlock replied 

“How can someone as smart as you be so bloody thick at the same time! I’m worried about you Sherlock!”

Sherlock’s face scrunched up in confusion.   
“Worried? Why? Because I’m having a few bad dreams?”

”It’s hardly a few, it’s pretty much every night you sleep! You better listen to me. You’re going to think of a way to stop these nightmares   
or no more body parts in the fridge.” John used the harsh, commanding tone he had used on new recruits in Afghanistan. It must have worked, if only slightly, because Sherlock grumbled,

”Fine. I’ll think of something later.”

”No. you’re going to think of something now.” Shot back John.   
  
**Sherlock’s POV**

Sherlock racked his brains for solutions to his problem. He could only think of one thing and there was no way in hell he was going to suggest it to John.

”Any ideas?” John asked him.

”None.”

”There must be something you can do!” Exclaimed John, frustrated.

”Well... there was one thing I could think of...” Sherlock hesitated.

”Go on”

”I don’t expect you to say yes or anything...”

”Christ Sherlock just tell me!”

”Maybe... sleeping next to someone might help...”

Sherlock regretted saying it as soon as he saw John’s face. His friend’s mouth was curved into a little amused smile.

John was laughing at him.

Panicking, he quickly dismissed his suggestion. ”Actually John, I think I’ll be fine. At least for tonight. We can think of something in the morning.”

””Actually, I’d quite like to try your idea Sherlock. Think of it as an experiment.”

John had to be mocking him.

He hated that the man who he admired so much found the thought of sharing the same bed so funny. Sherlock didn’t show it, but he really wanted to try this, to wake up in the morning next to _John Watson. _There really could be nothing better.

He was snapped out of his head by John, who surprised Sherlock by pulling back the covers and crawling into bed with him.

”You alright with this?” John asked.

He said nothing, he didn’t think he could say anything, but he let out a little “Mmmm” to let John know he was okay.

Not long later he heard heavy breathing and little snuffles coming from the other side of the bed.

He lay awake for half an hour more before drifting off to sleep.   
  


~~~~  
  


**John’s POV**

John woke up and panicked. Where was he? Who was he sleeping next to? Why wasn’t he in his own bed?

Suddenly last night’s events all came back to him and he calmed down again.   
He felt proud of himself for helping Sherlock with his nightmares, and he must’ve helped because Sherlock was still sleeping like a log. He checked the time and was pleasantly surprised. 10am, Sherlock usually got up at 6am. John hoped that this meant he would sleep with Sherlock every night. He was so warm and his voice was so soothing. John was there to help Sherlock sleep, but sherlock was making John fall asleep instead.   
  
Sherlock stirred and woke up. His voice was even lower than usual as he spoke for the first time that day (4am didn’t really count).   
  


“What are you doing here? And why are you awake? It’s not even 6am yet.”

John smiled as he explained what had happened last night.   
  


“Hmm. I thought that was a dream.”  
  
He told Sherlock the time and he sprang out of bed.   
  


“10am!!! I’ll barely have any time left before I have to go to bed again!!” He exclaimed as he ran over to his clothes drawer and picked out some clothes.   
  


Sherlock Holmes was about to get changed in front of him.   
  


Not that it should bother him. He wasn’t gay, he liked women.

Despite not being gay, he couldn’t help but stare as Sherlock took off his night shirt. His skin was pale and soft looking. His lean body was so beautiful That John never wanted to stop staring.   
His heart started beating faster and his breath quickened as Sherlock started to pull down his pyjama trousers. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he was glad that Sherlock had just woken up so his brain hadn’t caught up with him yet. It would be really embarrassing if Sherlock knew how John was feeling right now.   
  


**Sherlock’s POV**

Sherlock knew exactly what he was doing to John. He had always thought John might have feelings for him, but know he knew.

He had feelings for John too, but staying true to his asexuality, they were purely romantic. He almost felt bad for leading John on like this, but then he remembered it was all for research.   
  
Sherlock had tried to repress his feelings for John, he didn’t need sentiment getting in the way of his work, but it never seemed to work. He simply could not stop himself from loving the small, fair haired man currently watching him get changed.   
  
Sherlock knew he was going to have to help John come to terms with his sexuality, and that was a challenge he was willing to take.   
He would do anything to get the chance to be John’s boyfriend.   
  



	2. The crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter John tries to figure out his sexuality. Sherlock continues with his experiments.

**John’s POV **

John turned his browser incognito.   
He had to figure this out.   
_Was he gay?_

Feeling slightly guilty since Sherlock was in the room next to him, he typed up the name of his favourite porn site, but instead of his normal selection, he went to the gay category. Immediately he was bombarded with obscene sights, but contrary to what he had expected, he wasn’t turned off by it. 

_He could even feel himself getting hard._   
  


John found a video he thought looked appealing, and clicked.   
Throughout the video he had to restrain himself from completely letting go, because of how close he was to Sherlock. That would be a pretty shit way of coming out.   
  


_So_. John thought to himself,_ I like_ _men_.

After doing research, John concluded that he was bisexual.It made sense when he thought about it, he’d always seemed to appreciate men more than his friends, but he’d never given it too much thought since he was also considered to be the ‘ladies man’.  
  
The next thing he wanted to try was bottoming. John definitely thought of himself more as a top (a word he had found during his research) but he just wanted to make sure. It was for an experiment, as Sherlock would say.   
  
He was just getting his coat so he could go buy some lube at the chemists when Sherlock stepped out of his room.   
John tries to act normal so that he wouldn’t raise suspicion.   
  


“What are you getting at the chemists?” Asked Sherlock, using his annoyingly brilliant deductive talents.   
  


“Just some paracetamol, I’ve got a sore head.”

”Right...” Sherlock said, with a suspicious look on his face.   
  


_ Oh god, he knows.  
_

While you’re there get some milk, biscuits and bananas.”

”Why bananas?” Asked John.

**Sherlock’s POV**

Why did John have to question everything! Sherlock was trying to throw him a bone for god’s sake!

”Experiment” He answered, “now go on, hurry up, your head isn’t going to fix itself, and I want some biscuits for my tea.”

”See you soon!” John shouted from the bottom of the stairs.   
  


“Goodbye, lov-“ Sherlock shouted back.

_oh no._

“What was that, Sherlock?”

”Nothing! Go get biscuits and milk. Don’t forget the bananas!”   
  
_He needed to be more careful. That could’ve been a disaster!_

Sometimes Sherlock wished he wasn’t able to deduce so well. He didn’t need to know what debauchery John was going to get up to with a banana. Annoyingly, he couldn’t control when he deduced, it just sort of happened.

He had noticed that John seemed tense. That could’ve been because of a sore head like he had said, or because he was on edge sexually. Given that his right hand looked like he had recently been using it, his breath was slightly faster than average, and the fact that Sherlock had been able to hear the ‘stimuli’ John was watching through the wall, the second option was more likely. He then deduced that John was going to buy bananas. He knew this because he was questioning his sexuality and had been pleasuring himself to gay porn without finishing. He must have been going to buy something to do with ‘experimentation’. There was no way John would go and buy a toy, and foods like cucumbers would be too hard to explain. If John brought home bananas, he could simply say he was craving bananas. If he was going to get bananas for experimentation he would have to get lube too. Since John was still insecure about his sexuality, he wouldn't go to a sex shop, so the most likely place would be the chemists.

Sherlock guessed that all of this experimentation had started because of the incident this morning.   
  
this was bad.

Sherlock really shouldn’t have got changed in front of John. Now John probably thought that Sherlock was sexually attracted to him. 

_How had this gone so dreadfully wrong?_

His test had seemed like such a good idea at the time!

Sherlock still had more tests to conduct, but he would need to make them much less sexual.   
  


~~~~~  
  


**John’s POV**

John was extremely nervous as he walked into the chemists. He knew it wasn’t a big deal, he’d bought lube to use with girlfriends before, but this was different. This was lube he was going to use to shove a banana up his arse. He picked up a bottle of lube as well as a pack of paracetamol tablets.   
The man at the counter was really friendly to John after noticing the lube he had placed on the counter.   
  
_Too friendly_.   
  


He payed hastily and left the chemists. Next he went to the corner shop where he looked for the best bananas he could. He picked a small smooth bunch, got the biscuits and milk, payed and went back to the flat.   
  
Just before he entered the flat, he put the bottle of lube in his pocket. He opened the door and found Sherlock on the phone. He looked at John and hung up the phone with a “Love you, bye.”

Jealousy coursed through John’s body at those words. 

Who was Sherlock speaking to? _He didn’t even say I love you to his parents!_

How could Sherlock do that? He lead him to believe he liked him and then did this! He walked over to his bedroom and was just about to close the door when Sherlock spoke up.

”John” said, sounding concerned, “do you want a banana?”

John shut the door without saying a word.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was super fun to write! I hope anyone reading this enjoyed it too. In the next chapter there’s gonna be lots of angst, and I’m really looking forward to writing it!


	3. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John tries to get back at Sherlock for the ‘I love you’ phone call, but fails miserably.  
Be prepared for loads of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter because the first time I wrote it I wasn’t feeling very well and I was hopped up on painkillers. It was a really bad chapter and it took the story in a direction I don’t want it going. To people who are able to give it a second chance, I hope you prefer this to the crap I wrote last time.

** Sherlock’s POV **

Sherlock noted down the results of his experiment in his mind palace. 

_ Jealous _

_ Upset _

_ angry _

_ hid in his room (possibly to cry) _

_ definitely in love.  _

He sat in his armchair and planned his next experiment. He was going to get a woman to flirt with him while he and John were out at a restaurant. He would reject the woman and say he was gay. She would retaliate by insulting John. Sherlock would become overprotective and ‘accidentally’ say he loved John. 

It was the perfect plan. 

There was no way John would believe Sherlock wanted to go out to a restaurant, so Sherlock would have to be cunning about it. He decided he would go hungry for a few days. John usually took him out somewhere to eat when he did that.

Next Sherlock had to find someone to flirt with him. He thought about using someone from his homeless network, but it would look too suspicious talking her into the flat to clean her up and give her new clothes. Sherlock’s next option was to hire an actor. 

He knew that John would take him for something to eat after 4 days of Sherlock not eating. They weren’t exactly made of money, so John would probably take Sherlock to the cheap but nice Italian restaurant near the flat. John worked at the clinic until 6pm, and when he got home he always got something to eat. He always offered Sherlock something too and when he refused John would ask him when he’d last eaten. On hearing that Sherlock hadn’t eaten in four days, John would take him to a restaurant. Allowing time for them both to get changed, it would be at around 7pm that they arrived at the restaurant.

He sent a request on an actor for hire site for the date and time he had predicted and then got to work on a case Gavin had given him. 

** John’s POV **

John cried as he replayed the scene in his head. 

“Love you, bye.”

That should’ve been John Sherlock was speaking to.

He didn’t know how he could’ve thought Sherlock had loved him, he was just a boring doctor after all. Sherlock was probably speaking to someone dangerous and exciting like The Woman. 

He was still upset that Sherlock had used him. That John was just another experiment to him. 

Of course he was an experiment.

why wouldn’t he be?

He had to get back at Sherlock.

He knew how dependant Sherlock was on John, even if he tried to deny it, so ignoring him would be the perfect revenge. 

~~~~~

It had only been a day, but ignoring Sherlock was so bloody hard! John missed his odd little remarks and his confusion at the simplest of things.   
  
He couldn’t ignore Sherlock completely, so he had settled for not starting conversations instead.   
  
It still wasn’t enough Sherlock. 

Why John had fallen in love with the most unsociable man in the world, he had no idea.   
Actually, that was a lie.   
John had fallen in love with Sherlock because he knew him.   
He knew how much he cared about his friends, even if he tried to cover it up.  
He knew about all the funny things he did when he thought nobody was watching.   
He knew how Sherlock sang Beyoncé in the shower.   
He knew how much he loved bees and how many cases he had turned down because he was busy looking at pictures of bees on the internet.   
  


He loved all of Sherlock’s funny little quirks. Well, maybe not the one about experimenting on people without their permission.   
  


He would have to stay strong for at least a few more days though.   
  


~~~~~  
  


It was day 3 of ignoring Sherlock, and to be completely honest, it wasn’t working that well. Instead of catching on that John was upset at him, Sherlock had just learned to start conversations more often. The latest one was about bees.   
  


“John. Come here.”

”What is it Sherlock?”

”Come and see this picture of a bee. It fell asleep in a flower.”

John acted reluctant, but really his heart melted. Sherlock really was adorable sometimes.   
  
“Fine, but this is the last one okay? This is the fifth picture you’ve shown me in the last half an hour.”

”You can never have too much bees John.”

”Whatever you say love.”

_Oh shit_.   
  
John had just called Sherlock love. 

“What?” Sherlock asked, confused.   
  


“It was a joke! God you really are a robot!”

He was pretty sure he had fooled Sherlock.   
  


**Sherlock’s POV**

John has not fooled Sherlock.

This was probably the first and last time he would ever say this, but he didn’t need another experiment.   
  


“I love you too John.”

”Hmm?”

”I. Love. You. Too.”

”But what about the phone call?”

”I wanted to see how you reacted to the thought of me having another partner. You were very clearly jealous and that was highlighted by the fact that you’ve been attempting to ignore me for the past three days. I love you too.”

”So you’ve been trying to figure out if I loved you by breaking my heart?”

”Yes.”

”I should be a lot angrier than I am right now, but I think a confession of love has toned it down by quite a bit.”

”So John, does that mean you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Of course, but I’m still thoroughly pissed off at you for the experiment.”

“Understandable.”

  
Sherlock didn’t really understand, but he didn’t feel like getting lectured at that moment.   
  


“Do you want to go to Angelo’s tonight as a first date?” Sherlock asked. He worried that that wasn’t how you were supposed to ask people out. He wasn’t exactly a master at dating.   
Luckily for him his friend - no, _boyfriend_, was, so he would just have to teach Sherlock.   
  


“I’d love that.” John said, smiling.   
  


He was pretty sure this was the happiest day of his life so far. He was sure there would be better ones coming up if he got to spend them with John. His boyfriend. Sherlock was still trying to make sure it was real. 

~~~~~  
  


At Angelo’s, Sherlock had to stop himself from standing up in the middle of the restaurant and shouting:

”JOHN WATSON IS MY BOYFRIEND!”

Angelo came over to take their orders.   
“What would you two like? I remembered about the no candle rule this time.”

Sherlock looked over at John for approval, and he got a smile back.

”Actually Angelo, we’d quite like a candle tonight, this is our first date.”

Every time he said it his heart fluttered.   
  


“Of course. I always knew it. I’ll be right back! No smooching while I’m gone though!” He joked.

Sherlock had forgotten that people liked that kind of stuff.

They settled on sharing a big bowl of spaghetti. There were no Lady and the Tramp moments, (John had made him watch that movie) which he was glad of. He just wanted to eat spaghetti and look at John.

The date ended as quick as it had started and they went back to the flat.   
  
“How was that?” John questioned.

”I loved every moment.”

“Do you want to finish it off with something even better?”   
  


“I’m not sure what could be better than that, but sure.”

John pressed his lips against Sherlock’s.

Sherlock could feel every alarm in his brain go off at once.

Nonononononononono

He thought John had meant sit on the sofa and watch Disney movies or something.

He pulled away from John, panic clearly evident in his eyes.

”What’s wrong?”

”Don’t want that.”

”Hmm?”

”I’m asexual, things like that aren’t really my thing.”


End file.
